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Old 07-30-2012, 02:11 PM   #1
Harv
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PWN3D The vaguely incompetent people that keep making your work life difficult.

I can't even really describe why this kid is making my life difficult since it involves a whole bunch of programming crap that most people won't understand.

He supposedly knows how to develop a program, but then when it doesn't work suddenly he can't figure out how to debug the thing. Or he uses certain tools, but doesn't understand fundamental problems he should avoid when using them.

It's like he is doing a brake job using an instruction manual and something else in the system goes wrong and he has no idea what brakes actually do to figure out the real cause of the problem and he comes to you about why the the car doesn't stop and says, "What? Brakes stop the car?! News to me, I was just swapping these pads and rotors." You would give them the same puzzled look that I give this guy when he comes to me with issues and think to yourself, "You're a mechanic?"

Whenever this guy comes to me I think, "You're a programmer?"

And no, I don't have any say over the hiring process and luckily this guy is a contractor and will hopefully be canned once we no longer need bodies filling seats.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:13 PM   #2
DoctorNick
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Why do you gotta hate on Tweeter like that.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:15 PM   #3
wrxlvr
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Got one. Kind of older lady that freaks out about EVERYTHING. Is constantly calling me over to show her how to do things I've shown her a thousand times. Also calls me about a ton of stuff that has NOTHING to do with IT. I'm not your boss, lady, leave me alone.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:16 PM   #4
Catbert
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My cat's breath smells like cat food.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:19 PM   #5
Bochet
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The vaguely incomprehensible threads that keep making your click life difficult.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:20 PM   #6
CatfaceType-R
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harv View Post
I can't even really describe why this kid is making my life difficult since it involves a whole bunch of programming crap that most people won't understand.

He supposedly knows how to develop a program, but then when it doesn't work suddenly he can't figure out how to debug the thing. Or he uses certain tools, but doesn't understand fundamental problems he should avoid when using them.

It's like he is doing a brake job using an instruction manual and something else in the system goes wrong and he has no idea what brakes actually do to figure out the real cause of the problem and he comes to you about why the the car doesn't stop and says, "What? Brakes stop the car?! News to me, I was just swapping these pads and rotors." You would give them the same puzzled look that I give this guy when he comes to me with issues and think to yourself, "You're a mechanic?"

Whenever this guy comes to me I think, "You're a programmer?"

And no, I don't have any say over the hiring process and luckily this guy is a contractor and will hopefully be canned once we no longer need bodies filling seats.
That kid sounds super annoying. A lot of people 'claim' to know how to program, most are super cocky, know-it-all's. They can't program ish, I dealt with this when I was trying to start a business.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:20 PM   #7
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One of our people who trains the customers on how to use the software sent me a request to change something for the customer that is part of her job in setting them up properly. (Not in the sense that I could change it and am being lazy, but as in, I have no ability to make the change, it is part of why the customer is paying us $Texas to have someone on site setting them up) So, basically, all of her customers are clearly set up wrong and she has no idea what she is doing. Yay.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:31 PM   #8
somebody else
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We had a guy in the department who BSed his way into the job, claiming to be a computer expert. Not only was he lost on a Mac, PC and Sun, but he didn't know the first thing about accounting.

He was always calling IT for things like how to use a spreadsheet, or find his saved file, or... pretty much everything. He would always do it when the rest of his department was at lunch so no one would see how stupid he was.

I wrote a simple program that took over his computer and threw up a dialog box "DOWNLOADING GAY PORN" with a siren wailing away 'WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!' the whole time. When he came back from lunch and woke the computer, we heard the 'WOOT! WOOT!' from down the hall and started cracking up. Any newbie could have escaped out of the program, but not our boy!

He panicked for a few minutes before crawling under his desk and yanking the plug out of the wall.

His department knew what a dud he was and when his probation period was up he got the notice that he didn't make the cut.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:34 PM   #9
Tweeter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoctorNick View Post
Why do you gotta hate on Tweeter like that.




But seriously, I'm not even sure if I'm technically a "programmer" anymore. I got upgraded to a title that has "senior" and "specialist" in it. I just push random buttons all day and get lucky I guess.

Does this kid have any formal education or what? He sounds like someone you found at the bus station.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:34 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soon2bblackongold View Post
That kid sounds super annoying. A lot of people 'claim' to know how to program, most are super cocky, know-it-all's. They can't program ish, I dealt with this when I was trying to start a business.
He is not super cocky, if he was that I would really hate him. He is more needy than cocky. He'll send out messages with questions that could be easily answered via Google. With about half our developers I feel like my ability to search Google is what amazes them the most.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:35 PM   #11
somebody else
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We also had secretaries on Sun workstations for several years in the '80s.
Most of them were highly distraught that they weren't using typewriters for everything.
Secretaries using LaTeX! Too much!

This was a very common sight:
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:36 PM   #12
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Vaguely incompetent? Must be nice.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:36 PM   #13
Tweeter
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This is exactly what my "administrative assistant" does all day. ALL. ****ING. DAY.

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Old 07-30-2012, 02:42 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
This is exactly what my "administrative assistant" does all day. ALL. ****ING. DAY.

You have an administrative assistant? Ballah.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:44 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaiser View Post
Vaguely incompetent? Must be nice.
It's hard to be completely incompetent as a programmer and make it through a place like this, but these guys are really working on it. Honestly, I think my boss is just too forgiving. I would have fired a couple of the developers here by now over some of the mistakes I've had to fix.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:45 PM   #16
OriginalSin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody else View Post
We also had secretaries on Sun workstations for several years in the '80s.
Most of them were highly distraught that they weren't using typewriters for everything.
Secretaries using LaTeX! Too much!

This was a very common sight:
nice tits
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:52 PM   #17
Davemeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post
I got upgraded to a title that has "senior" and "specialist" in it. I just push random buttons all day and get lucky I guess.
You're a senior cash register specialist?

That's like, a life-long dream of mine, Dave. And you accomplished it at only 13 years old.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:54 PM   #18
TheCandlejack
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebody else
We had a guy in the department who BSed his way into the job, claiming to be a computer expert. Not only was he lost on a Mac, PC and Sun, but he didn't know the first thing about accounting.

He was always calling IT for things like how to use a spreadsheet, or find his saved file, or... pretty much everything. He would always do it when the rest of his department was at lunch so no one would see how stupid he was.

I wrote a simple program that took over his computer and threw up a dialog box "DOWNLOADING GAY PORN" with a siren wailing away 'WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!' the whole time. When he came back from lunch and woke the computer, we heard the 'WOOT! WOOT!' from down the hall and started cracking up. Any newbie could have escaped out of the program, but not our boy!

He panicked for a few minutes before crawling under his desk and yanking the plug out of the wall.

His department knew what a dud he was and when his probation period was up he got the notice that he didn't make the cut.
I get that he was a chump, but that prank was a little childish, no? That's someone's job.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:55 PM   #19
somebody else
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OriginalSin View Post
nice tits
Donut tell rug!
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:58 PM   #20
somebody else
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCandlejack View Post
I get that he was a chump, but that prank was a little childish, no? That's someone's job.
Yes, it was childish! Duh!

You must be new around here.
I'm terminally immature.

And he didn't get fired for that; he didn't pass probation because he couldn't do what he was hired for -- what he told his supervisors he could do.
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Old 07-30-2012, 03:03 PM   #21
Tweeter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davemeister View Post
You're a senior cash register specialist?

That's like, a life-long dream of mine, Dave. And you accomplished it at only 13 years old.
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Old 07-30-2012, 03:11 PM   #22
Harv
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davemeister View Post
You're a senior cash register specialist?

That's like, a life-long dream of mine, Dave. And you accomplished it at only 13 years old.
Senior Butt Plug Quality Assurance Specialist
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Old 07-30-2012, 03:20 PM   #23
Davemeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweeter View Post


Quote:
Originally Posted by Harv View Post
Senior Butt Plug Quality Assurance Specialist
Also a life-long dream of mine, but alas, does not involve pushing random buttons, but rather, pushing on random butts.
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Old 07-30-2012, 03:24 PM   #24
Harv
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davemeister View Post




Also a life-long dream of mine, but alas, does not involve pushing random buttons, but rather, pushing on random butts.
I think if you're using random butts you don't have a very good quality assurance methodology. You really need to have a predictable selection of various butts to get comparable results.
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Old 07-30-2012, 03:33 PM   #25
Davemeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harv View Post
I think if you're using random butts you don't have a very good quality assurance methodology. You really need to have a predictable selection of various butts to get comparable results.
Incorrect. Real-world scenarios do not involve predictable butts, so testing methods involve a random butt and a random plug.
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