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02-01-2021, 12:59 PM | #51 | ||
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 3787
Join Date: Jan 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: G-ville
Vehicle:2008 Gay Car |
Quote:
Quote:
A lot of female friends around our age are starting to enter their midlife crisis and are absolutely losing their MINDS. They're crabby, easily offendable, deeply entrenched in their martyrdom of being a women/mother, and just generally insane. I mean like making my wife seem sane. Like I'm so glad I'm married to my wife and not my friend's wives. Those wives are freaking out and driving to Alabama to escape from their lives or having to receive inhaled ketamine to treat their chronic depression; we just go hiking and drink beer together so...yeah. We've all done stupid crap, this is a one sided (yet entirely true) version of the events. Maybe I'm telling these stories in a way that is painting a bleak pained existence for myself, but really, it's not like that.
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02-01-2021, 01:23 PM | #52 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 165749
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Detroit, MF'er!
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She bought/opened a bird store?
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02-01-2021, 01:40 PM | #53 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 21356
Join Date: Jul 2002
Chapter/Region:
NESIC
Location: Can't catch me!
Vehicle:2017 Subaru Corolla STI Limited SE-R Type (R) |
i know right?
Dude comes in, says wife did something something bird store, and then just drops the mic. No story whatsoever. wth man!? its monday, give us something |
02-01-2021, 03:31 PM | #54 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 3787
Join Date: Jan 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: G-ville
Vehicle:2008 Gay Car |
She took over a bird store. Took over a struggling bird store.
I'll give you the whole story, I promise. I'm a little busy at work, but I'll type out a word fort later. |
02-01-2021, 03:56 PM | #55 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 34670
Join Date: Mar 2003
Chapter/Region:
South East
Vehicle:2016 slowmobile |
Hey look, a business I know nothing about! And it's doing poorly! I should buy this!
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02-01-2021, 06:40 PM | #56 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 3787
Join Date: Jan 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: G-ville
Vehicle:2008 Gay Car |
Ugh. This one is going to hurt, because I let the stupidity happen during a very bad time: 2008.
A little bit of a backstory - we got a decent settlement from our sinkhole lawsuit at the end of 2007. We put some money down on a house, put some aside to do major renovations on said house and still had a lot leftover for whatever. We didn't go into debt with these shenanigans but we did instantly waste $10K. ***I HAVE NO ****ING IDEA WHY I LET THESE THINGS HAPPEN*** I got laid off in March 2008. I wasn't too worried about it, because I was getting some hits on my resume and we were sitting on a pile of cash. I don't know the exact timelime, but our friend from college, Jen, found this struggling bird store in Tampa and expressed some interest in taking it over. This was in April I believe. I don't remember the details of how or why we got involved, but we got involved. Jen's uncle "looked at the books" and thought they were profitable or could be profitable without much trouble. The owner's were willing to sell the business for $20K - Jen's uncle kicked in her $10K, and we had all this cash sitting around so of course I said "NO, this is a stupid idea". Wait, what the hell was my wife doing for work at this time? She must've still been at the zoo, where she worked in the BIRD DEPARTMENT. Yeah, and I think she left the zoo to work full time at the bird store. I am very risk averse by nature. I never take chances with my money. My wife, somehow, broke me down into agreeing to this bull****. I don't know how this happened. Maybe because Jen was involved and she seemed way more level-headed than my wife? Maybe. (typing this out is painful, just so you know). So we cut a check for $10K to the owners and started the process of losing a bunch of money running a bird store. Honestly, it was a little exciting at first. "Hey, maybe we can make this work!" Since I didn't have a god damn job, I was able to help out with a bunch of stuff at the store. I think I blocked much of this out, but we quickly realized the business was dead. I don't remember when exactly we came to this conclusion, but fortunately, we jumped ship very quickly. And there was some half-assed attempt at a lawsuit against the previous owners that went nowhere (another $2K gone!). This **** is all a blur where I'm seething with rage, at myself and my wife and Jen. Now it's May or June, I'm still unemployed and getting very worried. My wife is working at Bennigan's as the sole bread winner and...this is the best part: the bird store moved to my house! Mother****ers, I **** you not, we loaded up everything in a U-haul, everything, birds, cages, bird food, bird toys, the cash register, tables, anything that wasn't strapped down and moved it to our new house. We told Jen, "**** you, we lost $10K, all this **** is ours" and she didn't fight us. I think we let her keep a bird or two. We never spoke to her again after this. Jesus H. Christ. Picture this. I have maybe 20 cages of ****ing birds on my lanai. Doves, love birds, parakeets, cockatiels, some other crap probably. Nothing huge like cockatoos. Since I'm unemployed, I'm now a full time bird caretaker. Super ****ing amazing. Oh and I'm a fulltime peddler of birds and bird supplies on craigslist. This is an absolute nightmare. And we also now have German cockroaches. Also, my two car garage is packed with bird cages. Over the course of maybe 3-4 weeks, we liquidate everything, recouping a couple thousand I think. Possibly $4K max. We had a very creepy lady who looked like a wrecked ex-stripper and her much, much younger boyfriend buy 90% of the stupid birds at once. Were they going to kill and eat them? Don't know, don't care. It was over. I finally got some other job in July, my wife started working at a plasma center and I think this scared her enough to think about getting a real job, so she started blood banking school shortly after this debacle. |
02-01-2021, 06:46 PM | #57 |
Scooby Potato
Member#: 156106
Join Date: Aug 2007
Chapter/Region:
TXIC
Location: Fort Worth
Vehicle:FoST RC390, R3, Grom |
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02-01-2021, 07:16 PM | #58 | |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 4103
Join Date: Feb 2001
Chapter/Region:
MWSOC
Location: Brookfield
Vehicle:2016 Mazda6 Red |
Quote:
I'm pretty sure she could tell us a few Mr. Doink stories as well. |
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02-01-2021, 08:08 PM | #59 |
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 203905
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: MI
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I think in this day and age if you searched hard enough for...
"Should I buy and or invest $10k into a bird store? My husband thinks..." you'd likely find the end of a string of questions started by Mrs. Doink. |
02-01-2021, 09:32 PM | #60 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 79498
Join Date: Jan 2005
Chapter/Region:
SWIC
Location: Disdain, NV
Vehicle:2020 XV |
In my imagination this is all true and her family has money and helps out to minimize the grief.
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02-01-2021, 10:48 PM | #61 | |
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 143938
Join Date: Mar 2007
Chapter/Region:
NWIC
Location: Oregon
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Quote:
A big key to a long happy relationship is to find someone that has quirks you can live with. Oh, and they have to be able to live with yours too |
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02-01-2021, 11:00 PM | #62 |
Scooby Guru
Member#: 55252
Join Date: Feb 2004
Chapter/Region:
SCIC
Location: i know, i regret it too
Vehicle:* pullup bar * |
I'm wondering what her employment history looks like. Working at a zoo to plasma center?
She sounds like a hoot at gatherings though |
02-02-2021, 06:19 AM | #63 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 34670
Join Date: Mar 2003
Chapter/Region:
South East
Vehicle:2016 slowmobile |
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02-02-2021, 07:28 AM | #64 |
Scooby Guru
Member#: 9481
Join Date: Aug 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: FFR Challenge #43
Vehicle:1832 Steam Buggy Wood |
I am pretty sure all of her stories begin with "you won't believe what Doink enabled me to do"
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02-02-2021, 07:36 AM | #65 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 140147
Join Date: Feb 2007
Chapter/Region:
MAIC
Location: Lynchburg, VA
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Mrs DM: "Honey, tell them about the time I <poor decision resulting in financial hardships>"
DM: |
02-02-2021, 08:14 AM | #66 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 21356
Join Date: Jul 2002
Chapter/Region:
NESIC
Location: Can't catch me!
Vehicle:2017 Subaru Corolla STI Limited SE-R Type (R) |
Bird story
Worth the wait Dear Doink. Please continue to write back to us with your amazing stories of the crazy wife. Thank. PS. Hang tough. Seems like you like your wife. It just seems that she just juggles her boobs in order to get away with stuff. |
02-02-2021, 01:19 PM | #67 |
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 518626
Join Date: Sep 2020
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Any local Gville specific stories? Something to make me chuckle as I drive past xyz store/intersection.
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02-02-2021, 05:23 PM | #68 | ||
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 3787
Join Date: Jan 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: G-ville
Vehicle:2008 Gay Car |
Yeah? You like that?
Quote:
Quote:
Other jerbs she's had: fly catcher fish farm scientician whatever you call the person that calls shrimp boat captains and inquires about their catch (no, seriously) vet tech kennel attendant many waitressing jobs ...and about 25 more things Her particular brand of autism is very entertaining. I also beat her a lot and she never goes to the cops, so we have an understanding. |
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02-02-2021, 06:03 PM | #69 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 34670
Join Date: Mar 2003
Chapter/Region:
South East
Vehicle:2016 slowmobile |
It's sad that I can't tell if "fly catcher" is serious.
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02-02-2021, 06:13 PM | #70 |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 4103
Join Date: Feb 2001
Chapter/Region:
MWSOC
Location: Brookfield
Vehicle:2016 Mazda6 Red |
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02-02-2021, 06:18 PM | #71 |
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 64665
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: WA
Vehicle:1997 Toyota Blurple |
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02-02-2021, 06:31 PM | #72 | |
Scooby Newbie
Member#: 1910
Join Date: Jul 2000
Chapter/Region:
NESIC
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Quote:
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02-02-2021, 06:49 PM | #73 | |
Scooby Specialist
Member#: 3787
Join Date: Jan 2001
Chapter/Region:
South East
Location: G-ville
Vehicle:2008 Gay Car |
She would drive around the area and set up fly traps and then check the fly traps for female flies of a certain species. This job lasted about 23 days.
Quote:
Not super smart, just really really hates working. She tries her hardest to escape from whatever her current job is, ends up at some other job and the cycle continues. And absolutely zero common sense. I tell her that if I wasn't around, she'd be dead in a week. |
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02-02-2021, 07:38 PM | #74 |
Scooby Guru
Member#: 16840
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CO
Vehicle:17 4Runner |
Two pages and no TITTYWOP?
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02-02-2021, 07:49 PM | #75 |
Scooby Guru
Member#: 85327
Join Date: Apr 2005
Chapter/Region:
RMIC
Location: Sandy, UT
Vehicle:1964 Miata Hairdresser Red |
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